The good, the bad and the quilly
by TheGreatStorycollector
Summary: Princess of Discord summary: The school has organized a special Storybook signing ceremony just for Apple and Raven because Raven finally accepts her role in the Snow White fairy tale.
1. Where does the gold come from?

**The Good, the Bad and the Quilly**

Where does the gold come from?

It was about three months after mine fully recovery and joining the ranks of headmasters, albeit as a trainee, when Apple decided to visit the school stables.

As a future queen she's supposed to care about her subjects and therefore she must learn about the places they live in, work in and such. I volunteered to guide her there. It's a nice stroll actually. And Apple has close bond with nature. She has her little helping birdy buddies and her pet fox Gala but she gets well with almost anyone.

Apple is nice, really caring and thoughtful but she is also very sheltered, which is understandable given her social status and story importance but once in a while her naivety shows up.

The stables are big and have different sections for different animals. The equine creatures were in a nice wooden building with a bright red roof. We saw fierce war horses that stamped their legs, meek unicorns sniffling at our pockets as they were looking for hidden sugar, energetic pegasi eager to soar through sky and, of course, the golden donkeys. No, they aren't named after the colour of some animals' fur, they literally make gold.

The Snow White-to-be was amazed when she saw a handful of gold coins on the floor. She giggled while petting a baby donkey: "It's really wonderful that you don't have to clean their poop." This caught me off guard a bit but then I reminded myself that as a future director of educational institution it's my duty to provide knowledge. And that's what I did after I turned to her with a patient smile: "Well, what do you think the coins are?"

Our blonde princess stayed suspiciously silent for the rest of the tour. (Zelda)


	2. Nice doggie

Nice doggie

Chirping of birds and a tickling ray of sunshine woke the young Quill up. She yawned and stretched herself while going to look from her window. It was a splendid day. Bright, warm but not too hot and the air was really refreshing. "A great day to do some sport today," thought the young woman.

She saw some princes running after a leather ball, Daring kicked it and it landed right in the middle of the net. "A ball game perhaps?" Why not, those were amusing and easy. All she had to do was to find someone to play with.

Twenty minutes later. The young Quill stood in the schoolyard, ready to have some fun. Besides her stood another girl. This one wore a red hood and under it hid her furry ears, her dad's heritage. "Fetch!" Zelda threw the ball and the black haired girl sprinted after her prey. Her canine instincts couldn't let this little leather thing escape.

"Good girl," said the headmistress-in-training when proud Cerise emerged from the forest with wide grin and the ball between her teeth.


	3. The Goose or the golden egg?

Lookie, I found a book. It's called Grimm's palace: A Fairy tale for adults.

book/show/20088892-the-grimms-palace?ac=1

With this post I'm poking fun at the similarities between this book, certain franchise and my original characters who I headcanoned into the franchise. On Google are few chapters for free. I don't own the rights to Ever After High nor do I own the rights to Fred Baumann's novel The Grimm's Palace. This work of fiction is meant for pure amusement, not profit.

What came first? The goose or the golden egg?

The fictional and real world are connected, no one is completely sure how the connection works, but those aware of the currents of influences, that go both ways, from real to fictional and back again, know about some weird coincidences.

"Here you are! I was on my way to fetch you," greeted Giles Grimm his adoptive daughter Zelda. Both of them went into the office of the third Quill, Milton Grimm. "Here. Take a look at this," the co-headmaster of Ever After High handed over a book. On the cover stood _The Grimm's Palace._

The female Quill finished reading the blurb and looked at her surrogate fathers: "Should we build a casino then?"

"Continue. It gets better," urged her Milton. Zelda shrugged and opened the novel.

"Funny there's a character that's an ex-nun just like Jane and Charlotte but here it's the nanny for Grimm's child, it's Baumann's version of Cinderella apparently. Hoo boy, the kidos will die laughing when I tell them Ashlynn is supposed to babysit me," giggled the Quilly girl and kept on reading.

"Aaand what do we have here…"

After some minutes she raised an eyebrow with her eyes still following the words: "So, does that mean I have a dual role now? A baby and a secretary?"

Zelda was immersed in reading and didn't notice how the two older men bit in their lips and fought to keep straight faces.

"Awww, hell no!" she yelled and extended her arms as to keep that book as far from her as possible. "Oh, you got to _that _part," said Giles Grimm casually. Zelda turned to her adoptive fathers with a crooked smile and one of her eyes twitching: "Yeah, _that_ part."

The novel was, among others, about a wealthy owner of a casino, who had a very, and I mean _very_, intimate relationship with his secretary. The man was named Milton Grimm, the character of the secretary got the name Zelda. What has been read, cannot be unread.

-the end-

**Author's note: This one shot is several months old and I thought I would spare it for the timeswhen I will have writer's block and won't be able to come up with any Legend of Zelda chapters. Well, my OC crosses plans and paths and so does fate because I found a french Thronecoming comic, so it contains spoilers but I don't think it will ruin your enjoyment of the movie. For frankly, if you can't read french (like me) you will only have even more questions than before. EDIT: I wanted to post a link leading to that comic, but doesn't approve, so no Thonecoming-comic for ya, folks. :(**

**The thing is, there happens an event that changes the plot a lot and it will influence some relationships and the world etc. Well, there will be quite a few status-changing events, really, but this one affects me writing Legend of Zelda because I thought that certain two characters wouldn't meet so soon and that their meeting would be more dramatic. Well, at least it proves two things. 1) Certain char isn't utter asshole, as one part of fandom thought, he just took a level in jerkass for a while, but seems to get better eventually. 2) Quills' color is blue which makes sense when they are neutral third party between a red and a purple group.**


	4. No more waiting

_Sorry for the inactivity. I'm writing, just not only the EAH fanfics but school stuff, too, so it doesn't go as quickly as I would wish. And sometimes it's hard to get to write something. I believe everyone, who tried to write once, knows that feeling so I will leave it at that. I have many ideas for the Ever After Highverse and they are at least partially connected so if you read one of my fics, you may want to take a look at my other works. _

_Thank you very much for all followers and reviews. It means very much to me. :)_

No more waiting

Rebel meeting. Everyone is here. The teens are chatting and telling each other riddles. Maddie's are the best ones, as always, but no one minds. Everyone is having nice time, the serious stuff will come in few minutes.

The Legacy day was cancelled, the Legacy year, however, still goes on and the Rebels are pressured to conform to the rules and traditions.

Knocking on the door of commoners' common room. Cedar gets up to open the door. No one shall be left standing in the hall today. Everyone is invited to support the Rebel side after all.

„Are we waiting on someone," whispers Cerise with a puzzled look. Raven shrugs, she doesn't know about any new 'recruit' but then again many people were shy to announce their loyalty to either side openly. A secret supporter then? Probably.

Door creaks. Steps are heard. The children turn to the newcomer.

„Hello, I am Godot," said the person.

Author's note: Not that it's my headcanon that Godot is visiting EAH but this idea got into my head almost violently and I just had to write it. Tell me, what is more absurd than a character from an absurd play, where they don't even show up, visiting the realm of fairy tales?


	5. Is the dress for a Royal or a Rebel?

**Author's note****:** One of the best inspiration sources for a writer is none else than the real life. Today the muse kissed me when I was hit by the dressgate flooding my facebook wall. Even Garth Nix has joined in on the fun. Rather magnificently with his little poem. And with the worlds connected and the fairy tale side mirroring the real counterparts (pun intended), one thing lead to another and here we go: new chapter for my collection of silly one shots.

* * *

Is the dress fitting for a Royal or a Rebel?

The mirrornet was flooded with pictures of one certain dress. As usual it was outfit of the famous fashionista Briar Beauty, whom everyone with a speck of interest in trends and stylish clothing was following closely.

Some said it's red, white and gold. Others insisted it was purple, black and silver. In other words the combinations looked as if they represented the two fractions of students – Royals and Rebels.

There were theories that those belonging to Royals see royal colours and Rebels notice the rebellious colours. And so some people* analysed the comments in order to determine who is who. This lead to some quarrels as people argued that they may see a purple dress but they are definitely Royal and the other way round.

Zelda post a status update telling something along the lines off 'if someone would accidentally dress a white sock on left leg and black sock on right leg, the whole land would explode from the ensuing buzz and uncertainty whether the person belonged to one side or the other' and added her opinion that the colours were changing, depending on the amount of light and the angle under which one saw the dress.

Briar didn't comment on the discussions that erupted and simply continued to prepare her dress. It will be perfect for the ball tomorrow.

*there is a high probability of Kitty Cheshire creating multiple fake accounts to spread mischief


	6. Evil nature

**Evil nature**

_February 3__rd__ 2015, 2__nd__ semester of the Legacy year_

_Tuesday, The schoolyard, Princessology lesson_

Raven looks at her black horse with burning red eyes. "He looks kinda evil." "She." the sorceress turned around to see the owner of the voice and faced a certain redhead with mismatched eyes. "It's a mare from Angmar. A fine species but they hate taking baths or even going near rivers for that matter," said Zelda patting the horse's neck.

"Ok, but she still looks rather nasty." "Interesting, one would say you would be the last one to judge someone's moral alignment just from their appearance," Zelda kept her voice tone friendly but she raised an eyebrow. Raven flushed, her friend had a point. She was tired of everyone trying to make her evil but that wasn't an excuse to be prejudiced against anyone else. Even if that someone was an animal.

"But you're right. Angmar horses weren't ridden by the good guys. They served as mounts to the damned nazghuls," added Zelda mercifully. "Equine ethics aside, the creature will obey you, basically it's like any other horse really. If you can ride, that is."

That boosted Raven's self-confidence and she looked at her mount much more relaxed: "I was taught how to ride from an early age but I travel mostly by boat. With the castle standing on a cliff over a raging sea…"

Akasha nodded and suggested: "You could get a kelpie. It's a horse that lives in water." That caught Raven's interest.

Then her red haired friend frowned: "There is a catch, though. They eat children."

"But that's evil," gasped the witch princess. "For the children? Sure, but the animal didn't choose to be able to digest only human flesh," Zelda shrugged. You didn't get to choose your parents either, thought the Quill but she didn't say it aloud. She said instead: "You know you _could_ make an exception when it comes to pets. Dragons aren't exactly known as vegans either."

But Raven just hopped on her Angmar mare and rode off.

* * *

_Author's note_:

This text is an addendum to a scene from the book The Next Top Villain. The princesses are learning how to ride and Raven's practice horse is a black animal with red eyes. Her remark about the horse looking evil is taken from the book but worded a bit differently.

* * *

_February 5__th__ 2015, 2__nd__ semester of the Legacy year,_

_headmaster Grimm's office, Thursday_

Milton Grimm has been working for some hours when suddenly a figure appeared in the middle of his office. It was Zelda. His newly adopted daughter walked to his desk, dragging along a chair. Her shoulders were slumped and movements slow and sloppy. Her act was accompanied by moaning and sighing out of exhaustion. When she got herself and her burden to the aimed spot, she plopped onto her chair and let her head fall on top of some books in the corner of the desk.

"I'm bored," she stated without any exposition. "Hi bored, I'm dad," retorted Milton. Zelda cast him a look only teenagers embarrassed with their parents are able to pull off. "Hilarious," uttered the red haired girl.

Then Grimm reached to scratch her head. Much better than the painful dad joke, thought Zelda with closed eyes.

When her adoptive dad stopped petting her she groaned: "It's a pain in the butt the kids have lessons. I have no one to entertain me." "I hope I don't have to remind you that you have a work of your own." "Yessir. I just made a teenie-weenie break, is all," she smiled innocently, then she stretched her hand over the desk to switched on Milton's desk mirror: "Let's look if there isn't an update about NTV." Grimm turned the display so they both could watch the display. Soon they found Blondie's channel and funnily enough, miss Lockes uploaded a new video that she recorded an hour ago.

Together they watched how Lizzie tried to capture the self-proclaimed news anchor in a card house but failed due to Duchess' stealing her enchanted cards and how was Duchess exposed in front of everyone. Then Raven stood up and summoned a cygnet claiming Duchess ruined her thronework too.

Zelda turned to her new parent trying hard to suppress her chuckling she watched his reaction. He glared at the mirror's display for a second, then he simply shrugged. Raven channeled her inner Rebel again but at least it was far less flashy than her usual displays. Besides he had his reserves.

"That was quite an eventful week for Duchess, your plan seems to be working," Zelda stopped laughing and focused on the video from her job's perspective as if she guessed what has been on Milton's mind.

"Even if miss Swan doesn't win the contest, she already proved that she can be very determined if she sets her mind up to something. Hopefully, she will continue in her career as a villain."

"No comment, I don't wanna spend a year locked in a cellar," quipped Akasha slyly. "You little," Milton pretended whacking her over her head for her rudeness.

"This place is weird. On one side the chars know they need villains for the stories to work but then they are downright hysteric if they have to be with them in one room," sobered the youngest Quill suddenly.

"Go fetch Giles and let's have a family lunch. We will explain it to you there." "On my way," yelled Zelda and skipped, which was a quilly way how to teleport, to Giles' office.


	7. Welcome in the Village of Book End

**Welcome in the Village of Book End **

My name is Brodo Burrows and I happen to be a hobbit. I work as bartender in the Bottle's Bottom. It's a nice cozy bar in the land of fairy tales. The name of the bar is Bottle's Bottom but it got to my ear that some, of course only those of the vilest sort, call my place Hobo's Hole. I hate that nickname, not only is it disrespectful to me and the bar I make sure to keep clean and presentable but it's mean to my landlady Zelda Tolkien as well. But enough of that.

In contrast to anyone who badmouths the bar, Bottle's Bottom is ideal to come to relax after a stressful day at work. Comfortable chairs and great music are the main ingredients for a relaxing atmosphere. Of course, we offer a variety of tasty meals but our forte is the broad selection of alcoholic beverages and cocktails. Here we serve Pixiecolada sprinkled with fairy dust, Will'o'Wispey, Bloody Mary (we serve two versions, one is your average tomato juice with alcohol drink, the other is for sudden visitors from horror realm), wonderberry wine, butterbeer, sprite spirits. You name it.

As the fifth son of a lineless hobbit from the Hobbit and Lord of the rings fame (if you can call it that way) I had no possibility of making it big in my home world but then I met this charming lady and heard her offer. And here I am, the first hobbit to have set his furry foot in The Land of Ever After ever. Sorta funny how a fantasy backgrounder can get into a different world, huh?

Bottle's Bottom is located in the lovely village called The Village of Book End. It's on the Lenore lane, to be precise. Lenore lane is only one of the five streets that make the village. Then there is the large and fancy La Bayadẻre boulevard with the Glass Slipper, the Gingerbread boutique and the Red Shoe Studio and Dance Club, the Lang avenue where you can found the Beanstalk Bakery and the Found Folklore bookshop, next to it is the Beige brick road. The last and smallest of them is the Three Charms street. The big avenues branch into a number of smaller, lesser known streets. For example the Beige Brick road leads into the Lemuria lane or the Lang avenue ends in the Cobbler's street.

There is the Asbjoernsen and Moe pub. Small place where they serve very cheap beer. There are dozens of flies flying around, though. You better visit the Mad Hatter's Tea Shoppe and Haberdashery at the Pentamerone plaza. The plaza is the large and circular centre of the village. Under your feet you can see a gorgeous mosaic in the shape of a five-pointed star. It's made of colourful stones and glass. Like I said, the plaza is the centre of the village, all five main streets end here.

If you want to visit my landlady in the fancy school built in the palace over there on the hill, you have to take the Lenore lane.

At first I was afraid I would feel homesick but this place shares some similarities to my homestoryworld. There are humans, elves and dwarves, kings and mages and even dragons. Not that I missed those scaly rascals but I must admit some of them are remarkably well behaved and some breeds are kept as cattle for meat and egg production. There is even a place called Soria Moria. I wonder if this is the place where the dwarves live in.

**Author's note: **So a little bit of worldbuilding. As you can see Zelda opened a bar, to get some extra cash so she doesn't have to 'friendly visit' Smaug's gold stash again. XD I really enjoy referencing all the famous and less famous stories. EAH is wonderful franchise for a storygeek like myself. :3


	8. The Fame of Mr Cottonhorn

**The fame of Mr. Cottonhorn**

The story began when two thirds of Blithesome Charming's litter were having a study session together. Darling was still Dexter's sister and even though they weren't permitted to sleep in the same rooms, the girls and boys were allowed to visit each other's room, if they didn't try something forbidden, of course.

The only thing they worried about was that if someone found out that Darling was helping her brother with his heroic thronework they could get in trouble. Luckily Hunter was out tending to animals or dating Ashlynn or both at once given their similar personalities so there was no one to disturb the twins. Besides Dexter's roommate himself was overstepping some social boundaries given his relationship with the future Cinderella so it was unlikely that he would rat out on his friend.

Right now Dexter was taking notes from his book when he noticed his sister doing something unusual. Darling crouched next to his jackalope buck and aimed her mirrorphone at the little critter. The animal was calmly munching on some leaves Dexter brought him from the garden and didn't pay attention to neither human.

"What are you doing," asked Dexter when his sister stood up again.

"I took a photo of your jackalope. Is there something wrong with it?"

"No, I just…Why would you do that?"

She shrugged: "Um, I just thought Mr. Cottonhorn is cute and then I had the idea to take a photo of him. No other reason whatsoeverafter."

Dexter looked at his pet. Yes, he had to agree with his sister. Mr. Cottonhorn was indeed very lovely and it wasn't the first time he came to that conclusion but he didn't really think about the way other people may see his pet. Kinda like himself, the prince chased the last thought away and his mind returned to the jackalope.

Or was he surprised that his sister would take photos of animals? That thought was even more stupid. After all Darling may be a more hero than damsel-in-distress but there is no rule that forbids heroes to dislike cute animals. It was just unhexpected. Yes, that will be it, concluded Dexter his thought process.

Darling sent him a hext with the photo she took today. Dexter looked at the image and decided to try his new version of mirrorphotoshop on it. At first he just messed around, turning his pet into grotesque monsters then he got into a more artistic mood. He looked at the results. Dexter made the photo to look a bit like a watercolor painting, he had two versions. One was Mr. Cottonhorn among leaves of grass, parchment brown backround behind him, so it looked as a study of nature. The second version was darker and Mr. Cottonhorn doned a broad white ruff and was seated on a velvet cushion next to a bowl full of grapes and pears. Dexter snickered when he looked at the images and wanted to delete them at first but he changed his mind. He could show the pictures Darling and Raven first. Not that it would win the princess's heart but at least he would have a topic to talk about with her and it may lessen his awkwardness a bit.

Three days later he was playing videogames with his brother. "You don't update your mirrorblog at all," complained Daring while pushing buttons, even his virtual counterpart beating Dexter's avatar easily. Dexter raised an eyebrow but didn't turn from the mirror's display: "Why is that a problem, you can talk to me any time you want." "Yeah, but don't you want to show your Charming pride? Girls like confident boys," the prince flashed a smile at his reflection in the mirror display. Dexter avoided his look and mumbled: "I don't really have anything to show off."

"What about those bunny pictures you made the other day? The girls loved it so much they couldn't believe it wasn't my work," asked his older brother. Dexter didn't correct him that those were jackalope pictures. He was too caught up in his surprise that Daring was bragging about someone else than himself and that he made sure that his little bro got the credit.

Later when he sat behind his laptop mirror he returned to Daring's words. Maybe he could create some more pictures of Mr. Cottonhorn but did he really want to fill his blog with pictures of his pet like some crazy cat lady? There was another option – to make a blog specifically designed for Mr. Cottonhorn and his shenanigans. Dexter was too shy to write something for himself but he could write from Cottonhorn's point of view. No. That was too silly. And so un-Charming. The Charmings stand for themselves and do, if not practical, then heroic things, they don't waste time with silly animals. But he wasn't that much of a Charming…

After a while the prince decided to give it a try. In worst case scenario he will just delete the account in a week or so. Dexter thought about giving the account Cottonhorn's true name but he decided to name it the Charming Jackalope instead. He uploaded all the old pictures and made a new one just for the occasion. The opportunity presented itself as Mr. Cottonhorn hopped to the shining mirror display and lay down next to the warm mirror laptop looking at his owner with kind eyes. "Making sure my master paints me in the best colours. Charming Jackalope," said the image description.

The next day Dexter looked at the account and he almost fell from his chair from shock. His jackalope gained five fans overnight. Five! And one uploaded photo got at least ten likes because two of the new followers have shared the pictures enabling their fairy tale friends to see the cute rabbit with antlers.

The account lasted a week, two, three. It was a month when Dexter made a Questions and Answers live session with Mr. Cottonhorn's fans. Another month passed and Dexter made a video starring his jackalope getting bellyrubs. The people liked his pet and he liked to come up with Charming Jackalope's witty comments.

But there was one message he cherished the most. "You're wickedly good with mirrorphotoshop, could you show me how you do those amazing light effects? Raven."

**Author's note:** Next week a new Ever After High book will be out and so I decided to give it a try and write a pet themed one shot inspired by Grumpy cat and similar internet phenomena.


	9. Quoth the Raven: I'm not your girlfriend

**Quoth the raven: I'm not your girlfriend**

Alone, tired and slightly scared of what she may encounter next, princess Raven wandered through long passages full of long dark shadows, which were every now and then cut through by a single torch. Finally she saw a heavy wooden door. Hoping of finding a shelter to have at least a few minutes of safe sleep, she quietly opened them.

Raven stepped into a dark room that was only dimly lit by a little oil lamp. On messy table between papers and books and writing accessories lay an unkempt man smelling of alcohol. His sleep wasn't a deep one because he kept sighing and shifting on his chair. The princess looked around. On the walls stood white busts of frowning persons. Evil Queen's daughter had no idea who they were but the sight of their unwelcoming scowls made her shiver and take a step back. Which was a mistake as she sent a stock of books and papers falling down with a loud thump.

The noise caused the inhabitant of the room opened his eyes. Unbelieving he slowly sat up, blinked few times. He opened and closed his mouth three times, Raven thought he looked like a fish pulled out of water, similarly stupid.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," began the princess to mutter but was cut short by the man's own words. At first she couldn't understand what he kept saying but then she made out that it was a name. Lenore. He repeated it over and over with only little variation like he was praising her: "Lenore, my Lenore returned. My light, the angel among angels."

After a while of drinking her with his gaze his words got a bit louder and he regained enough strength to stand up. Queen decided that it's time to stop it: "My name's Raven." The man frowned: "No, such beauty can't hold such atrocious name." He immediately smiled again and made a few steps to the lost girl: "It's okay, I will help you remember your love to me." "I told you I'm not Lenore. I'm sorry you mistook me for her but I have to go now," Raven wanted to go out of the room again but the weird man suddenly jumped and grabbed her hand: "You mustn't forsaken me. I am nothing without you." The princess stared into his deep sunken eyes with black circles bellow. Something in them scared her.

"Let me go!" Raven tried to shake him off but he was surprisingly strong for someone as lean and suffering. Suddenly the ceiling cracked and a chunks of building material began to fall down. "From now on we will be together, Lenore. Forever and ever," said the man unaware of the crashing ceiling. Raven looked up from the lunatic and saw an animal trying to wrestle its way through the roof. It roared and lowered its head to take a look. It was her pet dragon Nevermore. "What is it? Did you find her, Nevermore?" What's more her scaly friend was carrying her wooden friend Cedar. "Nevermore, Cedar" shouted Raven full of joy. "Hop on, Raven," shouted the puppet girl. Nevermore tackled the strange man to the ground and allowed Raven to climb on her neck.

The strange man got up in time to see the princess take off to the sky on her dragon. His heartwrenchingly shrieked _NO!_ followed the girls into the air.

**Author's note: **While I work on larger pieces – Legend and Mephistozeldes – I have to make breaks for a smaller writings. This is actually a quite old idea. Well, old in comparison with my activity in EAH fandom but it took me some time to write it. It works as a one shot but I may remake it into a longer story later.


	10. Magna Carta Libertatum

**Magna Carta Libertatum **

One day Zelda came to a group of princes and future heroes that were discussing the latest bookball match. She quickly found the two she wanted to talk to the most: "Hi, your Majesties, I have a big announcement to make. One especially for you, RJ Lionheart and Jonathan Lionheart."

The third grader and first grader looked at her attentively. The Quill elaborated: "You could say, it's a _magnificent_ anniversary related to your dynasty." The headmistress-in-training smiled proudly at Jonathan, the younger prince's eyes beamed with curiosity and delight. Soon everyone will hear evidence of their story's, no, their family's undisputable greatness.

"Your real life incarnation was forced by a group of barons to sign a document where he gave up some of his power. Congratulations," said the Quill still as cheerful as before. Jonathan's jaw dropped. Zelda patted the boy on his head: "Don't take this too seriously. This all happened 800 years ago. Such a long time and the mortals still remember it."

And with those words she left the prince sulking about his real self giving up some of his might to his underlings. "It doesn't matter, I still get my kingdom and my story won't be forgotten," He muttered under his breath grumpily.

* * *

**Author's note:** Where there's Sparrow Hood, there must be a next prince John. So here you go, have some Zelda trolling the antagonistic royal. June 15th 1215 prince John of England was persuaded to sign the Magna Carta. Thanks for the reminder and inspiration, Google.


	11. Jokes and Puns

Next week on Friday is the 2nd anniversary of me writing EAH fanfictions. Life has been good to me the past month and this week so I feel good and inspired. This chapter is the compilation of Ever After High related puns and jokes I've come up with after watching/reading webisodes and books. (These puns are also crossposted on AO3 BTW.)

**Jokes and wordplay**

Why did the chicken cross the road? - The headmaster wanted to get to the other side.

ǢǶ

A parent to another parent: "It's okay, dear, it's just a rebellious phase. Every kid goes through this."

Child: "It's not just a phase. I really am a Rebel!"

ǢǶ

"I used to be a cheerhexer but then I took an arrow to my knee." - a fairy from Faybelle's cheerhexing fairy squad

ǢǶ

Author: "I've made a fairy tale retelling."

Milton Grimm: "You fucked up a perfectly good story is what you did. Look at it. It's got anxiety."

ǢǶ

Are you a jinxtrovert or a hextrovert?

ǢǶ

In EAH-verse they have roch music (sounds like bird screeching). I'm also pretty sure the fairy godmothers listen to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Bebop.

ǢǶ

Apple: "Say those seven words and I will be all yours."

Raven: "I will sign the Storybook of Legends."


	12. Princess of Discord

**Princess of Discord**

**Summary: **The school has organized a special Storybook signing ceremony just for Apple and Raven because Raven finally accepts her role in the Snow White fairy tale. It begins with Apple's POV.

* * *

This is it. Her very own Legacy day. It wasn't organized on the hexact same day as it normally would be, but that was only to be expected, her fairy tale wasn't an ordinary one after all. It was special. This generation was hextraordinary in every possible aspect.

The princess walked the red carpet sending heaps of royally enchanting smiles and waves to anyone present. To the news crew broadcasting her pledge to the whole fairy tale realm live and to the audience in the streets of the villages or sitting on their coaches eagerly consuming celebrity gossip. To the schoolmates and teachers who were caught up in the drama and were following each step. To the headmasters who kept watch over the land each and everyone with their individual approach.

Apple stepped up to the Storybook of Legends. It was her second time in two years. She felt all their stares but there was one that was the most important for her. The most important of them all you could say.

Her smile so beautiful and radiant snow melted and flowers bloomed had she looked at a spot of ground long enough. So loving and serene was the look in her eyes, so graceful was the curve of her full lips, so delicate were her perfectly small and white teeth.

"I'm Apple White." She suppressed an amused giggle. Surely everyone knew who she is but the decorum dictates that she has to maintain a sense of seriousness. "Thank you very much for you to have come all the way to our beautiful and lovely school. Because although we have a lot of fun together here Ever After High is first and foremost a school. Here we learn how to ride horses, how to dance or play an instrument. We also learn how to listen to people and how to become the best tales we can ever be. I myself have learnt a lot. Thanks to my fair teachers. Thanks to our noble headmasters. Thank you, friends."

There right in front of her was her page. The page and story she inherited from her mother and mother of her mother and so on. The quill has appeared and was now floating in the air as it always does when someone is about to take their oath. She took it in her hand.

Then she spoke up again: "Thank you and sorry. Because all of you have gathered here to witness something that will not take place in the end. I _will_ pursue my happiness but I don't want anyone to sacrifice their own happy ending for my sake. Therefore I made my choice and I will be forever in your debt if you're going to respect that. I, Apple White, I'm not going to become the next Snow White. I'm going to write my own story."

With those words princess Apple slammed the book shut. The magical quill has vanished into the thin air as a fistful of magic sparkles.

The audience couldn't be more startled if someone dropped a stink bomb among them. They were so stunned they were able to just sit on their seats trying to comprehend what the hex has just happened.

Zelda thought, she wouldn't bet any money though, that right after Apple had blown everyone's mind seven leagues away she heard a noise akin to a record disc scratch sound effect. In retrospect she was always surprised at how calm she stayed in that moment. Zelda blinked a few times and let out a half-sighed half-whispered "oh my holy script", then because the scenery hasn't changed she took out her mirrorphone and dialed the number of her old infernal pal. Fortunately Mephistopheles picked up soon enough. "Hi, Mephisto, sorry for bothering you with such a weird question but don't you feel," at this moment she looked up taking a deep breath, full of disbelief about the question she's about to ask she said, "somewhat colder than usual out of sudden?" She quietly hummed and nodded as she listened to the devil on the other end of the line. "No? It's nothing. Everything's fine. Thanks for tolerating my whims, you have been a great help. Bye!"

After confirming that the hell, in fact, hasn't frozen over yet, Zelda put her magitek telecommunications device back into her hand bag. It was time to face the protagonists of this spectacle before anyone gets _any_ sort of idea.

The shock was massive. It not only captured the whole crowd around the stage and the masses staring at mirrordisplays. Anyone was shaken to the bottom of their core. The first fictional to get her act together was Raven Queen. She ran to her friend and storymate. "Apple, what have you done," she asked the princess her eyes full of bewilderment. "I made a choice," the blonde answered simply. "Ch-choice. Apple you gave up your destiny!" cried Raven out. Apple smiled: "I don't need any. Not anymore. Now I know that I'm happy when you are and you will never be happy if I or anyone else will force you into a role you don't agree with."

"Oh Apple," Raven smiled brightly and she shed a tear, too, but it was a tear of happiness. Then they both hugged each other. When they finally broke their embrace, they turned to see a friend and the head of the school in one person.

"That was quite a show you put up there, princess," commented Zelda her action with a questioningly raised eyebrow. Apple waited what the headmistress-in-training has to say, from what she knew Zelda was pretty lenient about the legacy system but she was still a head of the school. The Quill continued: "Not to rain on your parade but did you two mean it or were you just testing if we Quills can get a heart attack?"

At that moment Zelda glanced over her shoulder at where her adoptive fathers the Grimm Brothers sat: "I'm starting to ask the same question by the way," she said her voice significantly more worried than before and returned to their side in case the Grimms would be in need of any assistance.

"It seems I will have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow," laughed Apple sheepishly because she didn't have to be seer to know that headmaster Milton Grimm will insist she comes into his office to defend this stunt of hers. If he gets over the shock. Raven laughed, too, and this time it was her who eagerly grabbed the other one's hand. "Don't worry, I have your back, Honey crisp," she said with a wink.

* * *

**Author's note: **Every fan has his/her/their theories about a franchise and when they aren't fulfilled we fans sometimes feel disappointed. According to my opinion the creators have missed a great opportunity when they didn't make a second Storybook signing where Apple would at first pretend to go with it, she would declare that she goes Rebel in the last minute though. All because of Raven. And character development.

Look at my pretties hot potatoing their destiny. First Apple wants, Raven refuses. Then Raven wants but can't 'cause the Storybook is not Storybook but a fake. And now we have Raven who wants to sign for Apple's sake but Apple says Raven's happiness is enough she doesn't need a fairy tale happy ending.

Imagine the realm to be shocked out of their wits because Apple White, THE Apple White publicly resigns her fairy tale destiny. I, however, haven't missed the opportunity to make an Apple of Discord joke in the title. You have _no_ idea how long I've waited to write this scene and make the joke. :P

Now the next wave of fresh new Rebel vs Royal drama can begin. Don't forget, people, the end is just the beginning. Muhahaha. XD


End file.
